My last post for 2017

Well, I don't know about you guys, but when I think back on the year of 2017, I whisper a quiet little 'wow'. It's been a crazy ride, from having a publisher express interest in my novel, and then offer me a contract, way back in January, to the extensive learning curve of editing, looking at book covers, getting my first box of The Boy in the Hoodie on my doorstep, book launches and signings, and of course trying to get the word out so people will consider keeping a copy of my novel on their bookshelves.

This year, the Christmas break is much anticipated in my household.

(Thanks for the Christmas spirit, http://www.interiordesigninspiration.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Christmas-Decorations-016.jpg)

Christmas, for me, means school holidays, the sadness of saying goodbye to good friends moving on, and taking the time to reflect with gratitude on the year that has been.

I know that's not the case for everyone. Christmas isn't always a time of celebration. Sometimes, it brings back painful memories of loss; thoughts of what never was; or the hurt of broken dreams for the way things were meant to be.

Sometimes, it takes effort to find the great in what you can be grateful for.

Sometimes, it takes effort to step out, to take a risk, and to go and find what it is that you're missing - to try to make it happen.

But if there is one thing I have learned in all I have been through in life, is that sometimes you have to tuck that anxiety down into a little box in the pit of your stomach and step out anyway. Being a good actress helps. Having a safe place to land is essential.

As you look forward into 2018, I pray you will find the strength to step out and move toward grasping what you want most in life.

And don't forget, if you're still thinking of Christmas presents for the young adult/teenager in your world, you could always gift them The Boy in the Hoodie, :), available in all good bookstores now.

May you find the merry in merry Christmas <3

See you all in a couple of weeks!

Photo: I was going to spend Christmas with these awesome guys, my parents, this year. However, circumstances have changed and we don’t get to now. Instead, we’ll spend Christmas with the other kind of family we have - the family we’ve chosen for ourselves, in our amazing friends. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with these friends who we love dearly. I have no idea who took this photo of me with my parents, someone from my family no doubt since we were celebrating Mum and Dad’s 50th wedding anniversary at the time. :) Big celebrations deserve the overlooking of photo-rights, don't you think?

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On anxiety

Mental health is an issue that has been a part of my life since a loved family member of mine was diagnosed when I was about 18. Suicide attempts, decisions about moving in and out of psych wards, phone calls to psychologists and psychiatrists, all became somewhat “normal” for my parents. (Hmm... Perhaps normal is not the right word. Perhaps common would be better. I’m not sure mental illness ever really feels normal, even to the person experiencing it.] 

I must admit, I was pretty sheltered from most of it at that stage of my life. But I knew what was going on. I knew what shock therapy treatment was (after all, I’d watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest at school). I learned what a mental illness could do to a person, to a family.

From a short distance, I watched and hoped that things would get back to normal again one day. 

(Photo borrowed from: https://www.twenty20.com/photos/1ed2159b-862e-4d48-8e38-25c338f5b518)

But I think what resulted from those earlier experiences within my wider family, was that when it happened to me, I didn’t recognise it. I didn’t understand the depression and the anxiety I was experiencing was the same thing as what my loved one had. It didn’t look like how I thought it was supposed to look. It was years later, around the time I was preparing for the birth of my first child, that I realised that I’d suffered depression for the first few years of my marriage and was in danger of PND. So I started to look for the signs.

So why am I telling you about this? 

I think sometimes we think mental health issues will look a particular way. Maybe because, like me, you knew someone who had depression, or you’ve read some things on Pinterest, or read extensively a variety of articles; whatever your experience, it can mean we put mental health in a box. But it can look like so many different things to different people.

For example, I know a few people with BiPolar, and it looks completely different for all three people.

So when thinking about mental health, or if you meet someone with a mental health condition, stay open-minded.

And, if you’re concerned for yourself or someone you love, go to a doctor and talk to them. Just like you would with any other health issue, mental health can be treated and needs to be, the sooner the better. 

I'm not sure who took this photo of me and some of my work budd-ios at work on RUOK day. Someone else who works in my office, no doubt. Whoever you are, mystery person, thanks! I hope you're OK with a, somewhat partial, acknowledgement.

You can connect with Catriona via social media here.